- Wednesday, April 30, 2008
- No Fear Of Drowning
I don’t have a line of prospects that can give some kind of peace
There is nothing left to cling to that can bring me sweet release
My distress has subsided considerably but still there lingers remnants of it. Dozens of thoughts and concerns plagued my mind as I tried to wrestle through them and sort them all out. I still have yet to get them all into order. It’s not like I’m dealing with just one issue but rather with a convoluted mess of issues. I feel like I’m waging war on all fronts.
I’m at a sort of crossroads and can hear the future calling out to me. I know that something needs to be done but I can’t ascertain as to what that something is.
That’s not quite true. I know some of what needs to be done. I just need start living it. I no longer have the fear of drowning. No, my problem is now the breathing.
But the thoughts that still haunt me leave me in doubt and confusion. I feel a great weight upon me as I reach out to explain why this is. Where do I go from here? I am paralyzed by my indecision. I know the end result that I wish to achieve but not so much how to get there. Or if I can even get there.
I suspect most of my worries will soon evaporate proving themselves to be not worth the time of day. I know I shouldn’t worry about the future. The present has enough worries of its own. But… The future and present are intertwined in such a way that it is inevitable that thinking of one should bring up the other.
