They seem so wrong…

I just received notice that one of my dear friends just lost his son to a drunk driver.

What does one say to that? How does one offer words of comfort to a man grieving the loss of his son? I cannot even begin to fathom what he’s going through. A father should never have to bear surviving his child.

Trite platitudes are no comfort here. Cliche phrases that are oft used seem to be of no value. How can one truly be encouraging unless one can truly relate? And how does one relate without having gone through the same experience?

My brother was close to him too. Closer than I by far. How will I break that to him as well?

This is something that’s been on my mind for a little while now. Not just on this particular instance as I heard report not that long ago, but on this whole topic of offering comfort to survivors. Not being one who is good with words nor particularly quick on my feet, I’ve been trying to be "ready to provide an answer" to whatever comes my way. And there really isn’t any good answer.

I knew him and his son fairly well so in the end I found words that I hope provide some semblance of comfort and my heart and prayers go out to the father. However, what about those that you don’t know at all? Trite phrases such as "at least they are in a better place" still doesn’t quite cut it. As a Christian that brings comfort, but what if either of the two aren’t? If the deceased isn’t then they aren’t in a better place and if the one in mourning isn’t then that’s no comfort at all. "If it’s such a great place, would you like to trade places?" is one such response.

I am no closer then I was before. I can only pray that I’ll be given words of comfort when the time comes.

I, by myself, just fail.

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