The following are all quotes from 11 year olds’ Science exams:

“Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”

“H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.”

“When you smell an odourless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide”

“Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state”

“Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.”

“A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.”

“Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.”

“The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, I, o and u.”

“Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.”

“Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky.”

“The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.”

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